It had rained heavily overnight but had slowed to a drizzle by the morning .I was feeling a bit weak after yesterday but after breakfast I felt better.The weather forecast was for wind-south westerly turning west then north.Not good.I had intended to head north along the ridge of the Lincolnshire Wolds as it is supposed to be very pretty.The thought of being on a high ridge in a headwind put me off and I decided to head to Lincoln instead.
The drizzle stopped after a while but the wind was getting stronger.I turned onto my B road alternative and was met by a whole array of road closed signs.Often that means you can wheel past any obstruction with a bike. Two cars came the other way so I decided to push on.The signs persisted then new tarmac appeared for a couple of miles then back to normal.The roadworks had obviously finished .The road was pleasant enough and after a few miles I could see Lincoln cathedral on its hill.
The wind had started to turn and pick up so I had a rest in the shelter of a haystack.
I soon arrived in Lincoln and went for a wander about.The Cathedral looked very grand on top of its Hill.The market was open so I wandered round and found a stall selling roast pork rolls, stuffing, apple sauce, a cup of tea and and a sit down I felt fully recovered.
The road up to the Cathedral and Castle was steep and cobbled and very pretty.The cathedral itself was very impressive-more grand than than Ely. I decided not to stay to long as I was worried about the wind.
I was right to worry,as soon as I got out of town I realised the wind was now from the north straight into my face.My destination was Scunthorpe. The country side was gently rolling and there were few trees or hedge rows.I battled on, slowing to a crawl on any incline and still having to pedal going down hill because of the wretched wind.After an hour I stopped at a garage and bought more jelly babies.
After 2 hours I sat by the side of the road for 15 minutes.
After 3 hours I cursed and had a cup of tea.
After 31/2 hours I completed the 28 miserable miles to Scunthorpe. I gave up and rolled into the railway station.
My mood recovered a bit as I bought a train ticket to York. There was no way I could have done another 35 miles into that wind.I was cheered up by a rather unusual collage on Scunthorpe station.Sir Isaac Newton made from train tickets.
The train came quickly.It was quite a novelty to whisk through the countryside at great speed.I stared out the window and smiled to myself as we passed Drax power station.
When I was little and being driven past Drax in the car,my parents told me that this was where they made the clouds.Seemed reasonable as you can see them coming out of the top of it.I continued to believe this for years-well after I had ceased to believe in Father Christmas.
I changed train in Doncaster and followed a woman on crutches to the disabled/ bike section.We managed to squeeze my bike and her crutches in and started a conversation.It turns out she works as a journalist/administrator and was going to York to do a creative writing course.She was a bit nervous about it as she described herself as not the sort of person who goes on courses.I complimented her on having the perfect icebreaker with her crutches.It turned out she had leapt into the air to celebrate Norwich City scoring against Tottenham and tore her calf muscle.Norwich apparently went on to loose.
She asked me about my bike trip, puncture proof tyres and how I found odd places to visit.I strongly recommended my Gatorskin tyresa and reluctantly gave away my secret research tool -I go to tripadvisor put in the name of a town and scroll to the bottom of the page.All the interesting things to do are at the bottom of the page.Simple.
I felt very cheerful by the time we reached York and realised I hadn’t really had a conversation with anyone(apart from Ed) for a few days.
The train was so fast I now had time in hand so I set off for the York Jorvik experience.
I had never been to the Jorvik centre despite knowing York quite well.The first part consisted of a sort of suspended bumper car ride through a set of viking scenes, complete with back ground noises and clunkily animated figures and real actors -some of whom spoke and gave commentary and information.
I was a bit stunned by it to start with and then got the giggles.
The ride came to an end and I headed to the museum to find what I had really come to see.In a glass case at the back there it was-the Viking Turd.
When Coppergate in York was being excavated in 1972 they came across a fossilised Viking Poo.It is also known as the Lloyds Bank turd as it was found under Lloyds Bank.It is known as a coprolite or fossilised faeces.
Not only is it the eye-watering size that is impressive.It is actually very rare to get fossilised poo.It has its own wikipedia page.It was found to contain thousands of whip worm and round worm eggs.The owner seems to have subsisted on bread and meat.
Paleoscatologist ( fossilised faeces expert) Dr Andrew Jones described it as- “This is the most exciting piece of excrement I’ve ever seen… In its own way, it’s as irreplaceable as the Crown Jewels”.
The historical insight it gives is amazing. The vikings weren’t just marauding Scandawegians but also loved meat sanwiches and had bad guts from intestinal parasites.Can you imaging the horror of a long journey into the unknown in a open boat for days with abdominal discomfort and an itchy bum.
The story didn’t end there.The coprolite was given pride of place at York Archeological Centre where it was the star of many school trips,until a teacher ( we’ll call her Miss Smith) picked it up and dropped it.It broke into 3 pieces .
Try to imagine the story the year 6 school trip had for assembly.
I suspect Miss “Sticky Fingers”Smith got quite a reception in the staff room too.
The breaks were repaired and it now sits in a glass case.
What did they stick it together with?
Make your own puns.
After the Jorvik crap experience I checked the gift shop but they didn’t have any turd fridge magnets.Neither did the gift shops on the Shambles.
I wandered through York to the Minster.What a cathedral .A proper 10/10 house of god.
Apparently the Minster was begun in 1220 and consecrated in 1472.That means it took 250 years to build .That is about 10 generations of stone masons.No wonder they formed a guild.
I headed off to the Travelodge happy that I had managed a long cycle and seen lots of things with just a little help from the train.
Food of the day Roast Pork roll with stuffing and apple sauce .
Place name of the day: A draw between Scunthorpe and;
Sight of the day-York Minster
Wandering North 